bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
