____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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