were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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