All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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