Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
