yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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