How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
