Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
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