whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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