can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
