i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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