i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
