oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Small penises have feelings too.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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