You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
