Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
