oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
