Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
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