somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
