My first STD was from a foam party
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
