I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
