Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How's work?
Spinning.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
