i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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