I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
whose parrot is this?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
