You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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