Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
