im six kinds of drunk right now
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
