im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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