And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
