Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
