considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
