Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
