i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
