marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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