I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
