She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I still have a little drunk in my system
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
