big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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