so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
