Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
