Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
