There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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