She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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