I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So vagazzling was a success
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