Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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