Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
