i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
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