did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
