you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
