I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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