let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Go christen that room with your naked body.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
