): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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