Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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