Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.

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(917): View more from New York City

you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar

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(903): View more from Texas

Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.

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(516): View more from New York

no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"

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(303): View more from Colorado

What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.

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(678): View more from Georgia

If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.

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(315): View more from New York

He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.

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(616): View more from Michigan

Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh

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