My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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