people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
