I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
