You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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