just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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