my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
