apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
