haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
