I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize