I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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