My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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